Arranged marriage: For love or family

How has the tradition evolved?

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First comes marriage, a joining of two families, then comes love, all under the watchful eye of friends and relatives. That’s how arranged marriage used to be. Times have changed and now the process often involves blind dates, matrimonial websites, apps and the choice to keep looking for the perfect match. The terminology has even evolved and is often called “semi-arranged” marriage. A number of young people who may have once shunned the concept, are now turning to it with all its modern twists to find their partners. On the next show we discuss arranged marriage and what it means today.

On this episode of The Stream, we speak with:

Ravi Patel @showmetheravi
Director, “Meet the Patels”

Vasant Patel & Champa Patel @thepapapatel
Parents of Ravi Patel

Surabhi Surendra & Sanjay @womanatics
Arranged marriage couple
womanatics.com

Ancy Maruthanal & Michael Abraham
Arranged marriage couple

What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

View the story "Arranged marriage: for love or for family" on StorifyArranged marriage: for love or for familyHow has the tradition evolved?Storified by The Stream· Wed, Sep 02 2015 15:21:26 Arranged marriages are an age-old custom across the world. Many families have chosen to match their sons and daughters based on criteria they think will create a healthy marriage. For many of South Asian heritage, marriages are an important rite of passage and arranged marriages form a longtime family tradition.@ar_aditiverma -- it starts even before an Indian kid is born I guess, as if marriage was the destination this kid would grow up to conquerFOTOBABAWhen Indian-American Ravi Patel realized he was almost thirty and still single, he said it was time to find a wife. Rather than going through the usual dating routine, he decided to find her using his parents as matchmakers. In a documentary to be released in early September, Patel invites viewers into his journey on arranged dates with Indian women across the US and documents his family's role in the process.Meet The PatelsALCHEMYThe 2007 film adaptation of Jhumpa Lahiri's novel "The Namesake" begins with two Bengali families meeting for a special purpose. The parents want to arrange the marriage of their son and daughter. In the scene below, Ashima, the bride-to-be, recites a poem to her potential in-laws.The Namesake (1/3) Movie CLIP - Arranging a Marriage (2006) HDMovieclipsToday, arranged marriages are facilitated through a host of different ways, from word-of-mouth through relatives, to newspaper advertisements. Below is a listing under the matrimony section of India's national newspaper, The Hindu. The advertisement includes a description of the groom and the desired caste, education level, class level, and language for the hopeful bride. ALLIANCE INVITED for Madhwa Desistha 36 Tall Ph.D Engineering Chief Manager MNC Bangalore 18L/p.a, Accomplished and Propertied Family Chennai. Seeks Desistha Kannada Smartha Any Brahmin Bride, Graduate, Good Family, Middle Class. Respond: shantha49@rediffmail.com, Box No.SH-45154, THE HINDU, Chennai-600002. (Published on 2015-08-02)thehindu.comOnline dating agencies and elite dating groups have also grown in popularity. Many users say the platforms increase the number of potential suitors and allow screening of candidates who meet a family's criteria. Gourav Rakshit, the CFO of the online dating service Shaadi.com, says most of the site's 20 million users say familial compatibility is a key factor in finding a mate. The site has been connecting suitors since 1996. Below, the company touts one of their success stories.Navneet and Upkar met and fell in love on http://t.co/DDxdUaqj52 This is their #ShaadiSuccess Story https://t.co/w8Q5kuuhIzShaadi.comBut some say the concept of arranged marriage and the role of families are undergoing a shift as young Indians are deciding to date longer and switch control from the family to the individual. Floh, an exclusive singles network, attracts urban professionals in India who crave the in-depth telephone screening of candidates and curated social events such as sailing trips and cookouts. The company guarantees that a member will meet at least 50 eligible singles.Floh: How Shruti and Manu metFlohAnd while arranged marriages have been a longstanding tradition for many families, not everyone agrees that it is a beneficial practice. Anonymous users of the secret sharing app Whisper released confessions of their personal experiences with arranged marriage.whisper.shBelow, @fxmizzle offers her own observation on the way the custom is perceived.A lot of my non-Asian friends give me the weirdest looks when I say I'm not against arranged marriage lol.fahmidaThe Stream asked its community about the biggest misconceptions around arranged marriage..@AJStream They aren't always unwanted or forced. #ArrangedMarriage #AJStreamMichael Oghia@AJStream That the participants never come to love each other.BlackPhysicists@ajstream that they are always full of lies and pretence and that they never truly workout.HamiduThe Stream also asked the community what #ArrangedMarriage means in today's day and age.@ajstream I think it's love especially for both the parents and children to some degree it shows the level of trustrose jened@AJStream I have no issues with arranged marriage as long as it is not forced. #AJStreamAzeezat Ajibola@AJStream Most of western marriages are love marriages & they are least successful. Arrange marriage is same as love marriage, if not betterAdeelWhat do you think of #ArrangedMarriage? Share your thoughts with us at #AJStream.